Thursday, December 7, 2017

Amazon Warriors - Episode 15: Dogcember Part One -- A Lonely Dog on Christmas by Patrick Yearly




It's the most wonderful time of year, Dogcember, when we read some holiday short stories about dogs. We start off with A Lonely Dog on Christmas, wherein Brynn has ideas for dog Olympics, Ava has Three Stooges information, and nobody can keep the names straight.

This week's playlist can be found here.
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From Amazon.com:

Christmas Day is fast approaching. For Beckham, the family bulldog, it means just another year of being ignored while chaos and mayhem reign throughout the house. In this holiday short story full of laughter and family dysfunction, Beckham narrates an ill-conceived plan to create an unforgettable landmark moment in order to reclaim the spotlight as the center of attention. As the extended family gathers to make merry and observe their annual tradition, Beckham has another idea in mind to celebrate and make it a day to remember.




TRANSCRIPT:

Ava: It basically says that ole Beckham is gonna drop a couple of deuces on the carpet, and then he's like "never mind, these are – these are nice people, I won't poop on the carpet, merry Christmas! [laughs] 
Brynn: Yeah. 
A: It's really weird! What does my note say? Oh, it says "what the [expletive] happened? Why no dramatic ending? 
B: [laughs] 
A: Which, I guess, that's my final thoughts for this one. [laughs] 
B: I mean, I feel like the – the author could've ended it this way, but made it like a better conclusion, you know? 
A: Or like, maybe they could do something nice, and then he wouldhavea change of heart at the last second? 
B: Exactly. Like it needs to be wrapped up better. 
A: Yeah, it was like, a bunch of non-stuff happened, and then another non-thing happened. [laughs] 
B: Yeah. 
A: Which, like, I'm – like I said, I'm fine with a little vignette of, like, a weirdfamily having Christmas together, but like, why make it from the point of view of a vengeful dog if nothing vengeful or particularly doglike happens? 
B: Yeah. 
A: So, uh, I guess that's ourf inal thoughts, so we can go into ratings. 
B: Okay. 
A: So what did you give this one for editing? 
B: Like...a two? It all kind of runs together but it is like, well separated into sections, you know? 
A: Yeah, I gave it a three out of five, 'cause there were some weird things – you know, like average? Um, but, you know, like the "glued shut to each other" thing, like that – somebody needed to take a second look at that, is what I'm saying. [laughs] 
B: Yeah, I – I think that it's "stuck together," but "glued shut to each other"  
A: Yeah. 
B:  makes no sense. 
A: Yeah, that makes no sense. So, what did you give this one on plot? 
B: There was no plot. 
A: Yup. 
B: [laughs] I mean, there was flow of time. [laughs] 
A: Yeah, I gave it a one. [laughs] 
B: Time passed, and that's about all that happened. There was no plot to it. 
A: [laughs] Um, so what did you give this one on characterization? 
B: Uh [pause], I don't really know, like how to number this, but nobody was really – I mean, nobody really had personality except for Beckham. [laughs] 
A: Yeah, see, I gave it a four out of five, because Beckham was the most interesting, and I thought it was the strongest part of the whole story. 
B: I guess – I guess I'll give it a three. I mean, like, Beckham was, like you said, and um [pause], I mean, Derek had a little bit of personality, the parents had a little bit of personality. I kept getting the mom confused with the daughter, but...[laughs] 
A: [laughs] 
B: Everyone had a little bit of personality, they were distinguishable except for those two. 
A: Yeah. So what did you give this for dialogue? 
B: Probably a two or a three, you know, in all...it looked like globs, you know? Like when you look at it on paper it looks like globs. 
A: Yeah. 
B: And it – it was a bit nonsensical. 
A: I gave it a three out of five, because [pause] like, the quality of the dialogue was average, though, as a person who overuses dialogue a lot  'cause I feel it's my strong suit – and then I accidentally lean on it too hard [pause], um, I can recognize somebody doing the same thing. Uh, it was almost all dialogue, which kind of makes sense, since it's from the point of view of a dog, who's listening into the family, but, like, you have to have other things in a story besides dialogue. 
B: Yeah. 
A: So, that would bring my average to [pause] um [pause] yeah, it's like a – like a three and a half, I guess. 
B: Yeah, I think mine was a two and a half, so I guess yours rounds up to a four and mine rounds up to a three. 
A: That sounds about right. [laughs] 
B: What was your favorite part? 
A: I guess the best part about this book is that the quality of the actual writing itself wasn't that bad. I mean, like, word choice was decent, you know, it was pretty good. 
B: I kinda like the part at the beginnin, where, like, Beckham's, like, just kinda describing everything. 'Cause that was probably the most interesting part of the writing, you know? 
A: Yeah, that was probably the strongest part, you're right. 
B: Um, least favorite. 
A: Um, that's a toss-up between hating on fat people and ableism. 
B: Yeah, I was gonna go with the fat-shaming, but the ableism stuff was pretty bad, too. 
A: They're both pretty gross. [laughs] 
B: Thank you for listening to Amazon Warriors. You can find us on Twitter @thebookwarriors, and at warriors (at) superfuntimes (dot) net. Next episode we'll be discussing Avery Meets Chevy and Christmas Party by Mary Hiker. 

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